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3 coaching limiting beliefs

Today we’re talking about liming beliefs you may have that impact how effective your coaching sessions can be. These beliefs usually go unnoticed until they’re pointed out which is why they can be so detrimental to your clients’ progress.

This content is a snippet of what we cover inside the Created Coach Method Associate Coach Certification module – embodying a coaching mindset.

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CLICK HERE FOR AN UNEDITED TRANSCRIPT OF THIS EPISODE

Hello, and welcome to this episode of the, of course, you did podcast. I am your host, Brooke Alexander. Thank you so much for being here as usual. I’m excited to be recording an episode today. I’m actually really excited to record this one.

I just had a lot of fun. Preparing it and thinking about the three limiting beliefs that we are going to talk about a little bit of an update from my end over here, things are going well with our new certification course. I’ve pretty much only told people on the podcast about it. So far, I think because the podcast is the main place I come to actually talk, I post stuff on Instagram, but I don’t, I don’t go into detail there there’s only so much you can say in an Instagram post.

And I don’t post that all that often there I’m posting a little bit more recently, but you guys know about it first, so I’m keeping you all in the loop. It’s coming along so well, I, this is one of I guess. The first certification, the other certification is also something I’m really proud of. I think I’ve refined my cost creation and coach training skill to such a great level.

Now that I’m super proud of. The way that I’ve created this training, everything that’s going into it in terms of the content and the support and the way that we’re going to deliver it. So I’m really excited as things move along, I will say, oh, my neighbors are laughing really loud. I don’t know if you can hear that good for them for having fun.

I will say that there’s like a saying that. You underestimate, no, you overestimate what you can get done in a year and underestimate what you can get done in five years. And I can relate to that because I feel like I often underestimate how long it’s going to take me to create things like a new course or a coaching program or something like that.

I. Set out a plan. Okay. I can have this. I can spend this amount of time on this thing and this amount of time on this, and it’s going to take me this long to do this. And I often forget that life also happens and things come up like. I had planned to have the course finished earlier than it’s going to be finished.

But then I got sick with COVID for two weeks. And before that, I was sick with something else and I had a puppy and like all of these living things that just come up and also take time. I very rarely remember to account for it, but side note there everything’s coming along really well. And I want to dive into it.

Today’s episode. In this episode, we are talking about three coaching limiting beliefs. Now, when I say coaching, limiting beliefs, I’m not talking about limiting beliefs that you might have about yourself or about your business. Like I’m not talking about limiting beliefs about your ability to make money or.

Clients wanting to work with you or stuff like that. I am talking about limiting beliefs that you have might have. Possibly have that can show up in your coaching with clients. So in your actual client sessions, beliefs that you potentially have as the co-coach can be limiting your client’s progress or can be limiting the effectiveness.

Your coaching with your clients. And that’s why I’m really excited, to go over these ones with you because I think these kinds of limiting beliefs and looking at things from this perspective doesn’t happen when we talk about limiting beliefs. It’s so often about ourselves, right? Normal totally fine.

We have a lot of limiting beliefs about ourselves. Well, if you don’t then good for you, but I mean, most of the people that I know on planet earth do have limiting beliefs and we’re doing the work. But when we work in the helping profession, when we work in an environment where we are guiding other people where we are supporting other people, we have to look at beliefs that we have that may be impacting our ability to guide.

To the highest degree. So the ones that we’re going to actually, I’m just going to go through them one by one. The first one that I want to talk about is the first coaching limiting belief is I have the answers. My client needs. Think about that one. I have the answers, my clients, my client needs. I have.

The answer is, so this can show up. Maybe you’ve been through something that you’re guiding your clients through and experienced before. Maybe you have lost weight. Maybe you have found a relationship. Maybe you found a career. You loved, maybe you all the kinds of coaching things that we can experience, right?

Maybe you start as a successful business. You’re guiding your clients through something. So maybe you think that you have to give them the answers. You think that in this situation potentially you’ve experienced something before, you know what it’s like. So you have to tell your clients what to expect or what to do.

And in this situation, project what you think your client should do. So let’s have an example. You’re a career coach and you’re helping your clients figure out what they should do next in their career. You take over the coaching agenda and you start leading the coaching conversation and telling your client what you did in the past and what you think their limiting beliefs are.

You’re asking leading questions. And trying to guide them to do what you think they should do. When you think that the highest value that you bring to the coaching relationship is your intellect or your coaching techniques or your problems, problem-solving skills, or your creativity, or your whatever, your, whatever you get in the way of.

Real coaching, being able to take place coaching isn’t about your creativity or your coaching skills or your intellect or your problem-solving school skills. It’s about intellect problems, solving skills, creativity, all of your clients. So when you think that you have the answers. And the solutions are going to come from you.

You take that power away from your client to realize their own problem, solving skills, their own intellect, their own creativity. Coaching is a chance for your client to be the expert for your client to be the problem solver for your class. To have the answers you need to let your clients solve their own problems, to find their own answers, to be their own main character in their story.

You don’t have to be super smart. You don’t have to be trying to solve all of your client’s problems. You don’t have to have all the answers. You don’t have to connect. From what your client is experiencing to an experience that you’ve had before or something that you’ve heard in a podcast or an insight that you’re having as a coach, your brain needs to work differently.

When you are working with your clients, you need to embody a different mindset. One that doesn’t try to solve your client’s problem. ’cause, that’s not your role as a coach. Your brain needs to shift gears into, onto a track that facilitates the client’s own brain to solve. The client has to lead. You have to give the client space, permission, capacity to solve their own problems.

You don’t have to be three steps ahead of them. You don’t have to be thinking three steps behind them. You don’t need to be thinking about what question you’re going to ask them. You don’t need to figure out how you would solve the problem. You didn’t. Don’t need to think about what you can say next in response to what they’ve said or what answer you can give or.

What you can suggest is that’s going to make you sound super smart and like an expert thought leader, whatever these other terms are, let your clients have the ANSYS that they need, help your client find the answers that they need. How can you do that? How can you help your clients find their own answers?

Isn’t that liberating to think that? I don’t need to have the answers that my client needs. I don’t need to have the answers. You shouldn’t be giving your client ANSES. How liberating is that? Sit, let that sink in for just a moment. You don’t need to have the ANSYS as a coach. Your job is to help your client find the answers for themselves.

The second coaching limiting belief is I know what this is, and this is a judging attitude. This is when your client says something to us for. They tell you that their partner has lost their job and you start thinking to yourself, oh no, that’s bad. They’re probably feeling pretty horrible about that. And then you ask your client, what can you do to feel better about this?

Or what can you do to help him find another job and judging attitude or make a judgment? Isn’t always a negative thing that you don’t always have to do. Making a negative judgment. You can make a judgment in any sense. It can be positive from your perspective, or it can be a negative judgment. But the point here is that when you make a judgment based on something that your client has said to you, you shut down the learning process for your client because you’ve said, I know what this is, and you make assumptions and then work from that place.

Ineffective coaching starts with, I know what this is. Good coaching starts with. I wonder where this is going. Good. Coaching is I wonder what this is like for the client. Good coaching is I wonder what my client’s thinking about that. Now the judging coach assumes that they know what’s going on for their client, and these can be based on.

Past experiences that you’ve had or past experiences that you’ve seen other people have. It can it’s based on biases and projections, the judging coast coach makes assumptions and then creates a plan or questions to solve what they’ve assumed the class. Is experiencing to solve a challenge, solve that problem.

What’s more effective in a coaching conversation in a coaching relationship is for the coach to invite the client, to explore the situation, to create a deeper level of awareness for themselves. Before trying to find a solution. So help your client become aware of what they are actually experiencing, what’s going on for them.

How do they feel about it? How do they think about it? A judging mindset, coaches, the what? And a curious. Effective empowering mindset coaches, the who, and this is a concept that we go into in the associate coach certification program for the creative coach method. The difference between coaching, the what and coaching the who it’s more than I can go into detail here today because I want to keep this episode focused on the.

And our third coaching limiting belief is I have to convince my client to see things from my perspective or do the thing I think they should do or understand something. I don’t think that they understand the main part of this one is that the, I have to convince my client. And this one is super interesting.

The first time I heard something like this was quite a few years ago. Now I was chatting with someone about the creation. No, it was about working with me privately and we were just chatting. And one of the questions she asked was how do I convince people to work with me? Wait a minute. What, like, you should never convince someone to work with you for so many different reasons.

First of all, if you have to convince your client even just to work with you, then how, like, what do you think the relationship is going to be like when, when you’re coaching them, you’re going to have to convince them to do the work. This has to be, it has to be their idea. They have to want it. For themselves without needing to be convinced.

And it goes to this for the same when you’re actually in your coaching relationships with your clients. First of all, all of these questions, all of these, sorry, limiting beliefs are similar, but they are different. They are sled variations of each one. And if you. Look at them from a bird’s eye view. It may seem like they’re, they’re the same thing that they are all slightly different.

So that’s why I wanted to address each one. But notice how a lot of all of these are where the coach is, the coach is focused on themselves. Sorry. My words are not doing well today. I did a podcast interview a few hours ago, and I don’t know why, but I’m just not saying good words today. So. It’s all good.

Bear with me. I know you understand what I’m getting at, but all of these things, all of these limiting beliefs are the focus is on the coach. The coach is focused on themselves. I need to do this. I know what this is. They need to understand me. I have the answers. I can figure this out. I can tell them what to do.

They need to listen to me. I’m the expert. Et cetera, wherein our coaching, in our coaching with our clients, the focus should always be on the client. So you should never have to convince your client to see things from your perspective because if you are, you’re not coaching your client, that’s not coaching.

Coaching is about exploring with your client, their own perspective, what they think they should do, what they understand about. It’s never, my client has to see something from my perspective because then when they do see it from my perspective, then they’ll understand and they’ll have a shift and then I’ll feel good about myself because I had the answer and I helped them change their lives and transform their life.

You should never ever feel the need to convince your client because. Working from a place where you are trying to convince your client of something. Like I said, that’s not coaching. And this is the whole transaction is focused on you. And it is a transaction at that point. It’s track transactional coaching.

It’s not transformational coaching, and that’s a really important distinction to make the difference between transactional coaching and transformational coach. All of this that I’ve just shared today is part of a, a bigger chunk than we go into detail into in the creative coach method, associate coach certification, embodying a coaching mindset.

And I’ve been working on this a lot the last few days, and I really wanted to share these coaching, limiting beliefs with you, because I know that they are thinking. Come up a lot for coaches, because we are often, we often, until you go to training until you learn how to actually coach people, we can think that we have to have the answers, especially with this social media society, where we’re told to be the expert, be the thought leader.

Be something else. I, I, there’s a third one that I just, I just can’t figure it out, whatever. I can’t remember it, whatever it is, we are told that we need to know everything, but the fact is in coaching, you don’t need to have the answers. You should not have the answers all you need to do. No, how to help your client get from point a to B.

You don’t need to know the content of what even they want to coach on or where their goals are. You can help them figure that out, come up with a process to help your clients figure out their own way of getting from a to B that’s literally all you need come up with a process that helps you figure out how it helps you, help your clients figure out how to find the answers to their own problem.

So that’s it for today’s episode a quick one for you. I really wanted to share these because as I was working on the content for the certification, these ones popped out at me. As ones I thought would be really powerful to share. And to maybe point out, maybe help you to become aware of something that.

We’re not aware of it because if you don’t know, then you don’t know. Right. So now that I’ve pointed these out, maybe these resonate with you and you think, oh yeah. Wow. I have been doing that. Or maybe they’re going to shed light on some other limiting beliefs that you have that are impacting how. Effective or how empowering your coaching is.

The most important thing to remember is that your client is the main character. Your client is the hero. Not you. You are, you are the Obi-wan Kenobi to their Luke Skywalker, or if I’m really dating myself here, you are the Dumbledore to their hype. Horrible. You are the one doing the work. You’re not the one fighting the bad guys.

The client is, the client is doing the work. They are getting stuff done, and you’re empowering them to go out into the future when they’re not working with you anymore to continue to make good decisions. For themselves and think the thoughts that they need to think to achieve their goals. All right. I’m going to leave that one here with you for this week and I’ll catch you in our next one.

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coaching limited beliefs

3 coaching limiting beliefs