Beliefs about coaching -


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I’m an NLP & Hypnosis trainer and business mentor. I LOVE helping you take your coaching business to the next level.





Beliefs about coaching

Beliefs are thoughts you repeatedly think. You can have intentional beliefs and unintentional beliefs. Adopting a set of beliefs and principles about your coaching will help to ensure you have consistent standards for all of your coaching relationships.

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Welcome to the, of course you did podcast your go-to sauce for brain-based mindset, tools, and highly effective business strategies that will help you create a truly aligned business. I’m your host, Brooke Alexander. I started out having no idea how to coach people or how to build a successful business to building an internationally accredited coach training and certification program.

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So sit back, relax and enjoy this episode, and don’t forget to hit subscribe. So you don’t miss any of my latest episodes. Hello and welcome to this episode of the, of course, you did a podcast. I am your host on Brooke Alexander as usual. Excited to be here with you. Chatting. I have to say I’ve been loving podcasting lately.

Maybe I’ve already talked about this before. I took a long not break, but I was very inconsistent with podcasting up until recently, I would say for. Two years. I was pretty inconsistent with podcasting and I can, I’ll tell you why I have recently figured, figured out why that was it’s because I was trying to do so many things.

I was trying to do Instagram, podcasting, YouTube, blogging, running a business, like so many things. And I’ve decided to not do all of those things anymore. And I’m actually going to record it another podcast episode around some stuff like that very soon, but I’m excited to be more consistently podcasting and sharing things to help you grow your business, develop your coaching skills.

And that’s exactly what we’re going to do. Today we are talking about beliefs about coaching. Beliefs that are going to help you improve your coaching. Overall, these beliefs are going to help you be a better coach. They are going to help you and your self-identity. They’re going to help you believe in yourself more.

They’re going to help you in your relationships with your clients. The ones that I’m going to talk about today are specific. Kind of the coaching relationship, I would say. And the beliefs that you have about clients or about coaching, you could look at it from both perspectives. Really. First thing I want to do is talk about what beliefs actually are.

A lot of people think that beliefs are. Just things that we believe and that’s exactly right. They are things that we believe, but they, they can be intentional and some beliefs can be unintentional. Beliefs are simply thoughts that we think over and over and over. Automatically they are thoughts that just keep happening over and over again.

And we start to create stories around these beliefs. We start to see evidence in our external reality to prove these beliefs true. Now, not all of our beliefs are our own, a lot of our beliefs that we have that we experienced. They come from our childhood. So between the ages of zero and seven, we are like sponges.

We are picking up things from the world around us, things our parents say and do things our teachers say and do things, our friends saying, do things that we see and hear on the TV. We absorb all of these things and they are thoughts. And then we repeat those thoughts over and over again until. Start to believe them, they become beliefs.

Then we create narratives stories around them. And then our exit and reality starts to prove these beliefs true. We can also have intentional beliefs. So things that we create for ourselves, for example, I used to have the belief that people didn’t like me. I had this belief since grade school and I had that belief because probably for many different reasons, but.

Stand out to be the most easily, I was bullied pretty badly when I was in grade school. I didn’t have many friends. I had a really horrible time. I was depressed even. As an under 12-year-old, I had a mentally and emotionally challenging time because I didn’t have the mental capacity to deal with what I was experiencing.

So that led to me forming the belief that people don’t like me. Now I’ve done a lot of work around that. Thanks to NLP. I was able to release that belief and now I no longer have that belief and I can fill it with intentional beliefs. I can choose that. I want to instead believe that people do like. I have a lot of value to give people really enjoy spending time.

I belong. People want to hang out with me. People want me to be here. I can choose to repeat those sentences to myself in my head over and over again. So then their thoughts, your thoughts are the sentences that you repeat over and over again. So I repeat them so often I repeat these thoughts so often that they become beliefs.

And then my external reality shuts starts to show me. Evidence that proves these beliefs. True. So you can do this about anything, anything, and maybe you already know this. Maybe you don’t know this. I at one point did not know this and was mind blown. When I learned it, I was like, why the fuck? Hasn’t someone already told me this before?

How is it that I am an adult? And no one has told me this, I heard it on a podcast and I was like minded. The one I felt like an entirely new world had opened up for me. And that was the very beginning of my personal development journey. I can’t even tell you how long ago that was, because I don’t even know what you were.

Yeah, I can’t even calculate how long ago that was, but it was over five years ago. Eh, Now I’ve been doing the work so much. That is the work that I do now. That is. That I do. I was joking with someone recently and I’m sure you’ve heard this before, but being an adult is unlearning everything that you learned as a child.

Like you go through your, your whole life learning. So many things, thinking so many thoughts, believing so many things, and then you get to become an adult and you look back and you’re like, oh my God, everything that I thought was true is not true. Everything I believed is not necessarily true. Like I can change this.

I can choose what I want. That is what a belief is. It’s simply thoughts that we are repeating to ourselves over and over and over again, they can be unintentional. So these can just be thoughts, beliefs that we’ve adopted from the world around us. Other people gave to us, there were other people’s thoughts and beliefs that they projected onto us, then that we then absorbed, or they can be intentional.

They can be things that we have chosen to believe because they empower us to move towards our goals, to achieve the things that we want to achieve. Adopting a set of beliefs and principles in your coaching practice is going to help to ensure that you have consistent standards for all of your relationships, all of your coaching relationships, when you have a specific set of operating beliefs.

So these are intentional operating beliefs that you have chosen that are going to help support you in your class. When you have these beliefs, you can compare your behavior over time to find opportunities to improve. You can ask yourself, okay. How has my behavior being in alignment with what I believe to be true with how I want to operate with how I want to show up with who I want to.

All of these beliefs that I’m going to share with you today are going to contribute to a more effective coaching relationship. So you can take these beliefs. If you want. You can take these and add your own, or you can just use these as a foundation to come up with your own and build your own. The ones that I’m going to share with you.

I have taken from our created coach method, associate coach certification. So we have many, many more inside the creator coach method. We have an entire module. I’m really big one on embodying a coaching mindset. So all of the different aspects of a coaching mindset, literally like your internal mindset, ways that you think about yourself, ways that you think about your clients, ways that you think about the actual coaching relationship and coaching itself.

We talk about how to embody a coaching mindset and what it really means to be a coach. We talk a lot about the fact that coach isn’t being a coach. Isn’t about the things that you do. Being a coach is about who you are. And that’s why having these beliefs, these powerful coaching beliefs are going to help you.

So let’s dive in. I have five to share with you today. The first one is the client is whole complete in resource. So your clients are not broken. Your clients do not need fixing. They are already completely capable. And the aim of the coaching relationship. The aim of working with you, the aim of YouTube working together is to uncover and build upon that capacity, that capability that your client already has.

If you go into the coaching relationship with the mindset of my client is broken. Let’s say, for example, you are a marriage coach and you go into the relationship, the coaching relationship thinking, okay, my client doesn’t know how to. Have a successful marriage. They don’t know what to do. And they need me to come in and fix up their mindset.

They need me to come and teach them a whole bunch of stuff and fix their life for them. You’re not empowering them at all. You are not seeing them at their highest potential and seeing them as who they can be. You are seeing them as youth. You are, you’re seeing them as you think they need you to fix them, but they already have every single thing inside of them.

They’re not broken. They don’t need fixing. They are already completely capable. Everything. A person needs to create positive change in their life to create a transformation is already inside of them, but they may just not be consciously aware of it. Often people have reasonable. Internal resources, personal resources that they haven’t considered are available to them or that they haven’t considered are available to use in other contexts by resources.

I mean the internal responses and it’s external behaviors that are needed to get. Results resources can look like our ability to learn or resources can be our ability to listen. A resource can be your ability to be adaptable, to figure things out. All of our clients already have all of these resources available.

They already have all of the resources. That they need to achieve their goal. But our job as the coach is to help them uncover those resources, to help them learn the things that they need to learn, to help them focus on the things that they need to focus on, to help them develop the ability and the capacity to see that they have these resources, our job isn’t to do things for our clients.

Our job is to believe that our client is. Complete and resourceful. There’s something that we say in NLP and it is that there are no unresourceful people only unresourceful states of mind. This is really powerful because when you think of it like that, all you need to do is to be the guide to support your client in choosing a different state of mind, a more resourceful state of mind.

So if your client comes to you and they’re all confused, they’re saying I’m so confused. I’m so overwhelmed. That’s not a resourceful state of mind. But you can help them do the work to transform their mindset, to go from overwhelmed, to excited. And maybe you won’t be able to get there straightaway. Maybe that, that path for them doesn’t look like going from overwhelmed directly to excited.

Maybe there’s a few steps in between, but each step of the way your client is going to see that they are whole complete and resourceful. So that’s the. Powerful coaching belief. The client is whole complete and resourceful. So you can say it as my client is whole complete and resourceful. The next one is clients know much more than they think.

As coaches, we get to help our clients access the wisdom that they already have inside them. As we already spoke about, we know that that’s our job, our job isn’t to give the answers a job isn’t to do the work. Our job is to help our clients access their own wisdom, their own resources that they already have inside them.

We apply our outlet. We apply our learning and experience to help our clients come from. With their own answers, which might not always be the answer that we think of, or the answer that we come up with. You win when your client wins, your clients are going to learn best when they can work things out for themselves.

When they come up with the answer themselves. When they find the solution themselves, when they try something and fail and learn from that failure, they gain experience from that failure, they are going to learn best and integrate the information and have a deeper, bigger transformation when they can do these things for themselves.

When you behave as though they can think for themselves and generate their own perfect solution. They inevitably do. It’s not our job to give advice or to be attached, to being right. In any circumstance when working with your clients observe whether your attached to a solution. Or a certain path that you think they should take.

We all slip into advising from time to time and that’s normal, but as coaches, we want to grow very self-aware and we want to be very intentional about this type of interaction. And we want to know. When it happens. We want to notice when we think that we are right. When we think that the client should do what we want them to do.

When we think that we have the correct answer and our answer is better than the client answer, or if we are trying to give our client the answer. The answer that we think they should take into account or the thing that we think they should do when we’re practicing a coaching mindset. We want to show that the entire conversation is client centered, and we want to reinforce that the client is responsible for their own choices and that the client knows much more than they can.

They know our job is to help our client uncover the answers, find the solutions, generate the perfect solution for them. Sometimes your client will say, I don’t know. And then you have your coaching tools that you can use to help your client figure it out. If you are constantly giving your client answers or not believing that they know or that they can generate their own solution.

They’re are going to be dependent on you. You’re not empowering them to take charge and be in control when they’re no longer working with you anymore. Because the goal of coaching isn’t to have a client forever and have them reliant on you to solve their problems and find their answers. The goal of coaching is for the coach to help the client, to guide the client, to.

Understand and uncover their own internal resources and to find out that they know more than they think they know. And we know more than we think we know we as an individual, I’m not talking about in the relationship. I’m just talking at you as a person as well, also know more than you think, you know?

So in order to reach. Guide your clients to this belief to have this belief about themselves, it would be helpful for you to have that belief about yourself as well for you to have the belief that you know, more than you think, you know, and maybe there are times where you’re trying to figure something out.

You’re trying to find a solution and you’re telling yourself, I don’t know. I don’t know how, I don’t know what to do. I don’t know. Maybe this is a good opportunity for you to say, but what if I did. If I did have the answer right now, what would it be? If I did know what to do, what would I do? What could I do if I did know what to do, and I was doing it right now, what would I do?

If whatever I decide to do is the exact right thing to do. What am I going to do next? Right. When you embody this yourself, when you embody this belief about yourself, Then. You can help your client truly embody the belief about themselves because you can show up fully committed to this idea, to this belief and say, well, no, I, 100% know that you know, more than you think, you know, because I was there.

I was where you are right now. And I figured it out. I figured out how to do this. I figured out how to get through it. I figured out how to get through the belief that I don’t know. I figured out how to get through the belief that I need someone else to tell me what to do. And so I know you can do it.

The next belief is that the client is responsible for the results they create. Now, there are two things here. One thing that I want to touch on before I dive in is that this isn’t a, an excuse for you as a coach, to not show up fully for your client or not give 110%. Because you’re like, well, the client’s responsible and if they didn’t do the work, it’s just because they didn’t do it.

Or if they didn’t get the results, it’s just because they didn’t do the work. You also still need to show up 110, 20, 50% for your clients over deliver. Give them more than they expect. Give them more than they think. They need, give them more than you think they need. I’m not talking about using this as an excuse to not help your client fully get the results.

In nutshell, fully, I’m talking about this one. The client is responsible for the results that they create. This is an empowering belief. If we acknowledge that we are responsible for something, then we have power and influence. Over it. This is why we coach from the pres principle that an individual is ultimately responsible for their experience and the results that they’re getting.

We don’t do it because it’s 100% true. We do it because it’s a more empowering and constructive viewpoint, which is going to allow for a more resourceful perspective from this viewpoint, the viewpoint. I am responsible for everything I create. I’m responsible for the results that I create. We can look at each situation as though there are better outcomes available.

If we think that something external to us, for example, clients, friends, partner. Government, et cetera is responsible for the results that we have. We also put the solution and the possibility of change outside of us. If I say that my boss is responsible for my results, I can’t do anything about my results.

Then I can’t get any different. Because I said that it’s the responsibility of my bus and I can’t change my bus. So then I’m doomed to have the same results forever and ever. But if we can take responsibility for our own results that could look like, okay, I am not responsible for the external circumstances.

I can’t change those, but I can decide what results I’m going to achieve. Regardless of these external circumstances, we can’t make someone else or something else change to conform to our ideas about what they need to do for us to get the results that we want now. Responsibility. Doesn’t equal blame responsibility is owning what we do when we’re faced with life’s unexpected and uncontrollable circumstances.

As a coach, you might explore and inquire and most. And ask and challenge. These activities are done with the aim of empowering your client to take an own responsibility for themselves. When you help them take responsibility for their own results, you are empowering them. When we acknowledge that our clients are responsible for their own results.

We’re also saying you are whole capable and reasonable. Petco has just started having a puppy dream in the background. So if you hear weird noises, that’s him having a dream. It’s very cute. He’s like fucking and running in his dream. Okay. So let’s get onto our fourth belief. Coaching is a collaborative experience.

Both the client and the coach are equal. You and your client are equal. In the coaching relationship, the coaching relationship isn’t hierarchical. There isn’t one person is higher up than the other. There isn’t, the coach knows more than the client. So the client has to look up to the coach. It’s not that you have all the answers and you’re going to give your client the.

As the coach, you are responsible for facilitating the learning and the client is responsible for their own. The client is the leader in the coaching relationship or the coach is the supportive partner there. They are equal. We have a leader, the one who is leading the way I don’t mean leader as in the client knows better or anything like that.

Although the client does know best and we do have to like listen to our client and we’re not going to overpower our client, like whatever they want and desire and whatever they think they need to do. We’re going to support them in that I don’t mean leader in a hierarchical sense. I mean, the client is going to do the navigating, all the coaches, the supportive partner, the coach is the one to say, okay, let’s do this.

What would you like to talk about today? What would you like to try next? What do you think this could be? We are equal in the relationship with our clients. And it’s a collaborative experience. We get to do it together. We get to do it with our clients. We get to watch our clients grow. We get to watch them figure things out.

We get to watch them expand their mind, expand what they think they’re capable of. Obviously we know they’re capable of whatever they desire, but we get to. Their belief in their capability and their capacity grow. We get to do it together alongside them. Not ahead of them, not knowing more than them, not knowing better than them.

Coaching is a collaborative experience. And the last one is every person has the potential to achieve whatever they are aiming for as a coach. It is not your job to decide whether your client’s aim is achievable or not. Your job is to help your client get clear on what they want to achieve and what it will take to achieve it.

If your client tells you, they want to become an astronaut, it’s not your job to tell them they can’t become one. That’s too hard. They’ll never get there. That’s what you’re doing. Your job is to support them and figuring out, okay, they want to be an astronaut. And what does it take to become an astronaut?

You don’t need to be an extra X. You don’t need to be an expert at becoming an astronaut to help your client figure out the steps they need to take to becoming an astronaut. It’s not your job to decide whether what your client wants to do is achievable or possible or realistic. It’s also, this is maybe a bonus belief, but it will cause kind of ties in here.

And I think it’s a good one to go along with this, but you have to 100000000% believe that your client is capable of achieving whatever goal they set for themselves. Even if their goals are bigger than your goal. Even if your client’s goal, if you are a business coach and you have made $150,000 in a year and you are helping your client, they say that their goal is to make $500,000 a year.

You have to notice here what’s going on in your mind. And what comes up for you when your client has a bigger goal than you, you have to believe in your client 100% that it’s possible for them to achieve that goal. And you can’t let any of your shit get in the way of you helping them. You can’t let any of your shit come up and say, well, you know, it’s really hard to do that.

I’ve been working at it for a really long time and like, it’s probably not possible for you yet. I’ve had coaches. Do that to me before, and it fucking sucks. And I had to unlearn a whole lot of shit from that. Your job as the coach is only to say, okay, got it. Let’s go. How are we going to get there? Let’s figure out the steps.

What do you need from me? How can I support you, et cetera, all your coaching stuff, insert coaching in there in that pot. So every person has the potential to achieve whatever they’re aiming for. And you need to 100% believe that your client is able to achieve whatever goal. So let’s go over just quickly.

Our beliefs again, the first one is the client is whole complete and resourceful. The next one is our clients know much more than they think they. The next one is the client is responsible for the results they create. And you can even listen to that section that I just talked about, again, that whole part about the client, like taking responsibility being at, cause this is what we call being at.

Cause in NLP, it’s one of the very first things that I teach inside our createdcoach NLP certification. It’s a huge component of. What we teach in the whole program. It’s so important. So even if you want to listen to this section again and teach that to your clients, you can totally do that. Then we have coaching is a collaborative experience.

And then finally we have, every person has the potential to achieve whatever they are aiming for with our bonus belief of, I believe in my client’s ability to achieve any goal, they desire. Alright, that is it for this episode. I hope you enjoyed that. If you want to learn more about coaching, if you want to dive deeper and master your coaching skills and become a world class coach to really help your clients at a deep level, to really embody all of these beliefs and even more.

We go, like I said, we go real deep into a bodying a coaching mindset in our associate coach certification, then head to created by an You can look at our certifications there and you can join us. We have how’re associate coach certification is starting up at the end of, at the end of the month.

No. Yeah. Oh my gosh. I thought we were already in April then I know that the end of April, end of yeah. End of April like it’s like the 25th of April or something. So you can jump in with us. We’re going to be going through all of it to gather and diving deep into what coaching is and teaching you the skills and the tools to help you become a.

Class coach, this isn’t fluff. This is the real deal. This is the coaching shit that is going to help you create a sustainable coaching business and help you help your clients transform their lives. So create a mine You can learn about everything there and catch you in our next episode.

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beliefs about coaching

Beliefs about coaching